Hoarding Habits

Habits, they are tricky blighters to break aren't they? If we think back I am sure most of us have had at least one habit that we have had to break, as hard as it may be.

Was yours biting your nails as a child? Stopping sucking your thumb? Changing food habits? Drink or smoking?

Each habit has it's own challenges to break and some are undoubtedly harder than others.

I have tried, and failed, to completely quit smoking. I managed it when expecting my daughter (and for quite a time afterwards) but I ended up smoking again. 1 or 2 a day but none the less still partaking in a destructive habit. One thing at a time though and my focus now is on hoarding habits.

According to Kay there are ten typical hoarding habits. These are habits and beliefs that stand in the way of becoming clutter-free.

   1.    Procrastinating. Oh I can procrastinate better than Hamlet. We CHs know how it starts, good intentions, abandoned NY resolutions and those free times when one look at the spare room has us hurrying away for another task/cup of coffee. Momentum is the key to beating procrastination. No more putting things down "just for now" or putting things off "until tomorrow". No more dumping things in the spare room instead of dealing with it there and then.

• Habit breaker: Spend no more than 5 minutes doing one thing you have been putting off. It might be putting your bag where it needs to be instead of dumped in the hall or paying a bill or even just opening the post. Go on, do it now. 

Right that is my work bag in the right place and the paperwork inside sorted ready for my return to work on Monday. My biggest worry is that this blog will become part of my procrastination but I’m going to work hard to prevent that.

    2.      Having an all-or-nothing attitude. Holding on to everything no matter what. Do you really need that copy of the Radio Times from 1992? Really? Once you realise that it is ok to let go of items look critically at your collection of dry-stone walling books and think “Is this absolutely essential in Central London?” 

•  Habit breaker: Find one collection that is beginning to take over your home. It could be anything from shoes, bags, books, DVDs, complete Sylvanian Family collection etc. Put it in a charity bag, no go on seriously, now sleep on it overnight. If you don’t wake up at 3am in a blind panic because you have to have the 3 copies of Bryan Ferry’s Bête Noire then leave them there for another day and see if you can’t add some more to the bag.
   

   3.   Treating all possessions as equally valuable. True hoarders attach value and meaning to unimportant items such as old newspapers, junk mail, odd socks etc. your true valuable items are therefore lost under a sea of junk. 

•   Habit breaker: Start separating the clutter from your treasured possessions. It won’t hurt I promise. Find and bin the following 5 things; an old/rusty/mismatched piece of cutlery, socks that have no pair/holes/elastic that has gone, shirt/t-shirt that will never be white again, out-of-date magazine/TV guide & one take-away menu you will never use/has out of date prices.
  

           4.    Being easily distracted. You set aside a good amount of time, no child to distract with wanting to play with Playdoh. You set to work, everything is sorted. You tackle the first area and find the camera charger you have been looking for so you go and find the camera and plug it in, oh look photos from Auntie Joan’s party last month, oh no who took that one?! Oh I must send that one to cousin Clara, where is the laptop….? Before you know it the day has gone by, and the mess is still there from when you first started and you’ve achieved no decluttering. In fact the mess is worse than before, so you shove it all back vowing to sort it another day (see point 1).

• Habit breaker: Set a timer. Choose between 5-15 minutes depending on how you are feeling and when it goes off make sure you are still in the same place doing the same decluttering task.
  

           5.    Sabotaging your efforts. Believe it or not CHs find a variety of ways to undermine any efforts to declutter. This was a real eye opener for me. Often there are deep seated emotional reasons attached to clutter and staying cluttered. Here are a few examples:

a.       Focusing on how much there still is to do rather than being pleased with what you have actually achieved.

b.      Being overwhelmed with shame, apologizing to others and calling yourself names such as lazy (whoops see first post on this blog) or slovenly.

c.       Throwing away essential things to subvert progress. Giving away your only thick winter coat in January so when you are shivering with cold at the bus stop you think “See I knew I shouldn’t have bothered decluttering, look what it has done”.

d.      End up making things worse each time you try to declutter. I think every CH can relate to this one.

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  Habit breaker: Complete one small decluttering task. Choose between sorting out your work bag, bedside table or one shelf on a bookshelf. Do not stop until it is finished. Look at what you have done, you should be proud of that, give yourself a pat on the back or even a hearty HURRAH! Small reward time, a relaxing cup of coffee or bunch of flowers is my suggestion.
  

   6.   Multi-tasking. Sounds like a good thing right? Wrong! When it comes to decluttering focus is what is needed. It may feel weird, even indulgent, to focus on just one object/area but that is what you MUST do when decluttering. It’s the only way it works. Trying to tackle too much at once is a recipe for disaster. Remember Rome wasn’t built in day [feel free to insert own cliché of choice here] and as such your domain will not be decluttered in one either. It is much better to spend a dedicated 5 minutes than a disorganised hour trying to declutter whilst dealing with a busy household, phone calls and trying to load the dishwasher. Trust me on that one.

• Habit breaker: Find a quiet time of day (mine is when my husband is putting our daughter to bed) and practise five minutes concentrated decluttering. You’ll be amazed at what you can achieve. My baking cupboard (remember all my hobbies) is now organised and old, out of date ingredients chucked.
  

Courtesy of amazon.co.uk

          7.   Wanting clutter to sort itself out. Oh how we all wish for that. I am a major Harry Potter fan, I mean seriously obsessed. It’s not Apparition or Qudditich or any other spell I crave. What I want is to sort my house out with a wave of a wand, one swish and flick and socks are folding themselves, plates cleaning and clutter be gone. Ahhhhh how I would love that. As it is, being a Muggle and all, it cannot happen so I’ve got to pull my finger out and knuckle down.

• Habit breaker: Let go of the magic wand (in my case 100% real, along with my genuine Gryffindor scarf) fantasy that clutter will sort itself out. IT WON’T. Start using these tips, slowly slowly catchy monkey [again insert clichéd phrase of your own choosing here]
  

         8.    Putting other people first. You know that old table you have in the hallway? It’s under the pile of post, pictures from school/nursery and 4 umbrellas? Why do you still have it? It doesn’t match anything does it? What’s that? Oh I see Great Auntie Henrietta gave it to you when you moved and in order to not offend her you have kept it despite your heart sinking each time you see it. Awkward situation certainly but be honest, tell her you are reorgainsing and it won’t match anymore and offer the table back. Don’t fall into a guilt trip about such items.

• Habit breaker: Find one unwanted gift (hey we’ve just had Christmas at the time of this post should be easier than in the summer months) you can’t stand. Feelings of disloyalty and being uncomfortable are normal so maybe start with those socks that play the National Anthem each time you stand up (no really genuine present a friend of mine received from his Grandmother). As you put them in the charity bag, deep breath and reclaim your right to only keep those things your truly love.
  

          9.     Acquiring too much stuff. This is totally us. Me and my husband have moved countless times in the past few years, with each new house (be it student or not) came new items which then got moved into the new place etc. We have roughly calculated that our tiny, mid terraced house currently holds about 4 houses worth of stuff. That was before we had our daughter who has, of course, added a ton of stuff on top. We are nearly at drowning point. Add in my hobbies and an ever growing child who needs new clothes every 30 seconds (what it feels like anyway) we need to stop this tidal wave of adding to the clutter alongside the actual decluttering itself otherwise we’ll be clearing one lot to replace with another. Not good.

• Habit breaker: If you always overbuy magazines, cosmetics or DVDs this week choose one product, whichever is your worse overbuy addiction, and don’t buy any. Sounds simple but it will be hard but do it, you’ll be ever so proud of yourself (as will I) and you are on your first step to stopping the influx of clutter.
  

          10.    Blocking the flow in the home. This is a huge problem in our house. Clutter can form a physical barrier to moving around. Our hallway, for example, is a gauntlet of coats, bags, shoes, unopened post and discarded shopping bags. There is a rug in there somewhere, but I couldn’t tell you what it looks like as it’s been so long since I saw it for more than a fleeting few seconds. I’ll ask my husband as he hoovers, he might know…. Apparently it’s striped in natural hues (yes he did use that word, I despair sometimes). Reclaiming the space not only allows the flow to be restored but also raises the spirits, coming home to a clutter free space is incredibly uplifting.

• Habit breaker: Come one we are going to tackle the hallway. Remove all coats and bags and hang them up where they should be. Next all those pieces of junk mail and free newspapers into the recycling. Unopened post into a tray/box to be dealt with during your quiet time (see point 6). Now go outside and come through the door again. See how nice that feels?

Golly that was an extremely long post. Well done if you made it through and 10 points to Gryffindor for each habit breaker you successfully tried today.

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